I have always found babies cute. Their beautiful soft skin and beautiful eyes which gaze up at you so innocently. They look so soft to touch and these days we can dress them up to look do damn adorable. These are usually the images that people want to share…the moments that they want to remember! I am guilty. Any cute picture or video I take of my Archie I just want to show everyone…“look at my boy….my gorgeous boy!” but there are some parts to motherhood that we don’t share but we all know too well…
Besides the usual no sleep (which is the least of your worries) here are some of my parenting truths that we don’t usually share but we all know too well…
1. Poo Explosions.
So you know it’s a given that you are going to have to change a few dirty nappies when you start this parenting gig... if you’re thinking how hard is that really? Then you don’t have kids and have never faced a poo explosion….
Definition: an explosion of poo, most likely will leak out of the nappy and cover anything it comes into contact with. Definitely will happen during a car ride, when you dress your baby in light colours and during the middle of the night when you’re half asleep and find it the next morning under your fingernails. True Story.
2. Believe it or not there is something worse than the above…
Like this happening whilst at your friends house who doesn’t have kids and you have run out of wipes.
3. You will rejoice when your baby releases that wind…both ways!
Better out than in they say…
4.You will inevitably do the mum chop.
#longhairdontcare? Oh you will when your baby hits about 4 months and they think it’s a toy and pull it out in clumps! Oh and you also find a nice clump of dried up vomit when your brush gets stuck half way down the back of your hair. Enter the mum chop, the shorter the better.
5. What’s that smell?
“Oh that is just me wearing the newest shade of projectile vomit on my t-shirt that I have just put a jumper over so you can’t see the white stain running down my back.”
6. Sticking with the theme of smells…
You will be well acquainted with the nappy sniff…this involves your nose right up in your baby’s nappy trying to sniff out if it was poo or wind…yep, just like your dog.
7. You will never eat a hot meal again.
I mean it! Babies have this internal sixth sense where they need you just as you are about to cut into that chicken parma you have just prepared for dinner and will probably not return to until it is stone cold.
What goes in must come out. And through both processes you will be covered in what ever you have fed your baby…and you will probably find yourself eating some of this food too. My current favourite is pureed sweet potato, carrot and pear.
9. Forget money…sleep is your new currency.
It’s 3am. Your baby just projectile vomited on you, drenching your pyjamas. You can either spend five minutes searching your cupboard in the dark for a change of pyjamas. Or you can have five extra minutes of sleep. Before baby, you’d change your pyjamas. After baby… you take the five minutes and sleep in projectile vomit.
This is how all your decisions are made. Sleep is your new currency.
10. You will love every minute of it.
No amount of poo under your fingernails, vomit stained clothes or sleepless nights can overshadow that gorgeous human being that you created, especially when they look up at you because you are their whole world.
I challenge you! Share some of your parenting truths
In the spirit of the ‘myth of perfection’ S-26 GOLD TODDLER is challenging mums to share a warts and all photo of their children and then asking them to nominate a friend (or two) to do the same.
Celebrate life’s little moments! WE want to see chaos, joy and even the tantrums, without the filter!
To enter the competition, simply like the S-26 GOLD TODDLER Facebook page, upload an image showing a moment of parenting truth with #S26truthgram and then nominate someone to take the challenge!
Main Image: Danielle Guenther